gym. I congratulated her on finishing an e-book for her
website, and she started to tell me about a new
initiative she was working on. She said, "I'm planning
on working with a coach on this. I've pretty much
decided on someone. He's local." I nodded politely,
thinking, okay, thanks for sharing... Then she said,
"Oh, you're a coach, right? Maybe we could have lunch
sometime and I could pick your brain."
Even after all the times I've been asked to 'just let
me pick your brain', this one was particularly, umm,
bold (I'm thinking of another b-word, but I'll keep it
clean!). She was willing to pay for a coach's services,
but wanted to just "pick my brain".
This comes up quite often for my clients too,
especially those who offer 'soft' services like
coaching. Services that don't always include something
tangible.
That doesn't make the service any less valuable.
Your brain, and all the expertise and experience in it,
is not something to "pick". All that you offer is
valuable, and you deserve to be compensated in exchange
for sharing it.
In my exchange with Melinda, I was so dumbfounded at
the irony of the situation that I just responded
vaguely, something like, well, we'll see. Not exactly
the take-charge, clear, and boundaried power response I
was hoping for. Powerful Me had taken a little
vacation, or was checking her iPhone. My self-image
took a little hit.
That experience taught me something very important
about interactions with people who want to 'just pick
your brain'.
Be prepared.
There was no need to run myself down about what had
happened. I just needed to prepare for the next time.
So I got busy working on this issue. First, I called on
Powerful Me to help. I've found it useful to give her a
name: Madeleine. Conjuring up an image of this aspect
of myself has been really helpful, and I recommend it.
In my case, Madeleine is blonde and tall, and looks
prosperous and confident. One of the things I admire
about her is that she has the nerve to wear big
jewelry.
This tool isn't about splitting off parts of yourself.
It's my version of a well-known psychology technique,
where you can consciously call on parts of yourself
that you need, right then. It's a helpful bridge, until
the rest of you catches up.
With Madeleine on the scene, I could move on to my
goals: Really get clear on what I wanted to
communicate. Set boundaries. Be gracious.
The last one, being gracious, is important to me.
Often, people have no idea what they are really asking.
It's up to me to make that clear. So, in the meantime,
I can communicate that in a way that doesn't demean
them in any way, treats them with respect, and still
gets my point across.
With me so far? Next step: write a script.
I've used scripting many times in my career as an
entrepreneur. For client calls, for cold calls, for
difficult meetings. It's always been useful.
I rarely stick with the exact script, but having the
key points clearly in my mind and the body memory of
having practiced saying what I want to say, help me to
stay focused in the most difficult situation.
Here's what my script looked like:
Melinda, I really appreciate that you value and respect
what I have to offer as a coach enough to want me to
share my expertise. I'd be happy to talk with you about
your initiative. It sounds really exciting, and that it
will be an important part of building your business. My
process for working with people is to schedule a
coaching call. If you'd like to have lunch, I'd prefer
to not have a business focus. That way, we can really
concentrate on your business and you'll get the full
value of my experience and knowledge. Here's my card.
If you decide to go ahead, send me an email and we'll
set up a time for a coaching call.
Let's break it down, so you can see the moving parts:
Melinda, I really appreciate that you value and respect
what I have to offer as a coach enough to want me to
share my expertise.
This sentence highlights that I have expertise in this
area. I remind her that this is an opportunity to
explicitly value and respect what I offer. I show my
appreciation for her implicit acknowledgement.
I'd be happy to talk with you about your initiative. It
sounds really exciting, and that it will be an
important part of building your business.
Let her know I'm interested in working with her. Join
in her excitement, and show that I recognize the
importance of this initiative to her business.
My process for working with people is to schedule a
coaching call. If you'd like to have lunch, I'd prefer
to not have a business focus. That way, we can really
concentrate on your business and you'll get the full
value of my experience and knowledge.
These statements clarify my process, the one that I
know from experience works best for my clients. I
reinforce how I value her business and that I want her
to get the most value from our interaction. I
demonstrate my respect for her time and money.
Here's my card. If you decide to go ahead, send me an
email and we'll set up a time for a coaching call.
I offer her the opportunity to contact me using the
process I've outlined, and give her clear steps to
follow to initiate our coaching relationship.
The next time I had someone want to pick my brain, I
delivered a version of that response, and it worked!
They were a little startled at first, but I got an
email the next day to set up a coaching call.
That example will give you an idea of how you might
approach your own script. Call on Powerful You. Think
about the points you want to communicate, and how you'd
like to say it. Write it down.
Then practice it. Say it out loud several times. Pull
it out every once in a while and rehearse it again.
That way, you'll be ready when it comes up. Next time,
Powerful You will be available when you need her.
There will be times when you'll want to give your
expertise freely. Just do it consciously, with an
intentional decision.
One more thing: don't let yourself get discouraged if
you don't handle a 'pick your brain' situation as well
as you would have liked. It's a 'dust yourself off and
start again' scenario. Dust yourself off, and get
prepared. With your new script in mind, you'll do a lot
better at handling situations where your value isn't
being recognized.
Be prepared, and you'll walk away with your brain, and
your self-esteem, intact.
Ursula Jorch, MSc, MEd, mentors entrepreneurs starting
their businesses and seasoned entrepreneurs in
transition to create the business of their dreams. Her
coaching programs provide knowledge, support, clarity,
inspiration, and a community of like-minded
entrepreneurs to empower you to reach your goals. Start
with a free guide and other valuable info at
www.WorkAlchemy.com
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?
expert=Ursula_Jorch
Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/8384898
No comments:
Post a Comment