Pregnant But Not Alone

If you're reading this, than chances are you're feeling the pressure of being a social outcast because of a pregnancy or your status as a single parent. You feel the pressure of others not understanding your financial situation, your obligations to sick kids, your loss of your dreams, your uncertainty of where to turn. You feel alone, isolated and unaccepted by anyone around you.

I've been there. I got pregnant in 1990. At that time, society had a 'you played, you pay' attitude towards teen age parents. My high school didn't allow pregnant teens to continue at the school. The local public high school required that we transfer to an adult education program so that we didn't influence the other teens. My college professors were unwilling to work with me on completing homework assignments.



One boss told me I couldn't work for him unless I wore a ring on my left finger to 'pretend' I was married because he wasn't sure how the customer's would like an unwed parent. Another supervisor refused to allow me to be promoted because he assumed I was a 'slut' since I was a single parent. My friends suddenly didn't have time for me.

People's attitudes ranged from 'slut' to 'you did it to yourself' to actually telling me 'you're a social outcast and I can't accept you.'

I was alone, scared, confused, and certain that I wanted to raise this child. It wasn't going to be an easy road, I knew that. But this was my child. I was keeping her.

Raising a child is hard - financial pressures, time off work, protecting and providing for them, clothes, shots, doctors appointments, daycare, school, play dates, teacher conferences, the list goes on and on. When you add to that the rejection of not only the people you normally leaned on for support in the tough times; but also, bosses, strangers, religious groups, and countless others, the task quickly seems insurmountable. You get overwhelmed seemingly having to fight on every side just to stay afloat.

Single parenting is becoming more accepted in society, but for the young single parent, the isolation and judgmentalism of society is still as strong as ever. The effect is so strong that it is rare to ever meet an adult female who admits to being a teen parent. Having grown enough to free themselves from that negative stereotype and the isolation, few are willing to admit to their status ever again.

But young parents are part of our society. There are thousands of them, and we are doing an injustice to them and to ourselves by not stepping up and helping them through the difficult times we each faced. We can support and love each other. We can teach and learn from each other. We can end the isolation, provide support, knowledge, encouragement, and in the process, improve the lives of the single parents and their children. This, in turn, creates a better life and society for us all.

It takes a lot to raise a child and you can do it, with support and help from those who have been there. I hope this book brings you encouragement along the way.

Julie Martino - Certified Professional Life Coach

julie@coachingbyjulie.com

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